I know I said I don’t judge people on looks mainly because I care more about brains rather than beauty (and that includes how I think of myself) but, from time to time, allow me to gloat. In the middle of a Facebook chat, my guy friend suddenly sprung this:

nakakawindang profile pic mo

We were talking about Game of Thrones’ Cersei and how I just realized she was also the queen in 300. He said she was also in the Sarah Connor chronicles, so I googled that and saw Summer Glau and that’s when he suddenly said that so I asked WHY and then proceeded to blabber about how Summer Glau was also in Dollhouse without waiting for his reply. Which was this:

geek goddess siya
nakakawindang dahil ang ganda mo

THE HELL  <<my reply O.o

tangappin na ang compliment, pwede?

and then while I was typing “er thanks” he added:

sexy pa

So my reply was a big NGE. And then I proceeded to talk about Summer Glau.

We are such a funny pair. :))

Hmm. Well, okay, the purpose of writing this isn’t really to gloat but to preserve the memory of how, in the midst of all my worries, you’re keeping me sane–even though we both don’t know how to comfort people. So allow me to sift through our chat and copy-paste this bit:

you just don’t make friends with people you don’t genuinely like. and i’m flattered to be included in that exclusive circle. that’s what’s going to make me cry.

wanna have a synchronized crying session over two different timezones?

I am really honored. Thanks, B. There–you can cry now, I won’t tell. I’ll just say “there, there.” HAHAHA

*In reference to this previous post.


Succumbing to gloom

November 25, 2011

FB stat: Random epiphany: I see all these artworks and compositions and I think, these people are so talented. I can never draw or take a photo or write like they do. :( #midlifecrisis

Then a good friend messaged me:

B: hey
Me: hey
B: how art thou?:)
Me: artless
B: don’t fret about such things. :) you’re special.

Aww. Really. But it didn’t take the gloom away. If writing can move mountains, then why can’t I move a single person?

I’m home sick

November 11, 2010

As in, I stayed home and I’m sick. All day. No, I don’t have class on Thursdays. Yes, I skipped org duties, cancelled a meeting, and asked someone to fill in for me in another meeting.

Must have drank about a gallon of water all day, and it’s still not enough. I wish I can drink water forever. But since I can’t, I have to content myself with taking a sip every couple of minutes or so. [read on]

10:22 PM 7/23 Mae, kumain ka ng breakfast, impt yun meal na yan
10:22 PM 7/23 humingi ka ng dagdag allowance kay Tita M sabihin mo sabi ko..
10:22 PM 7/23 hwag ka iinom ng soda….mag tubig ka lang

It’s so like my dad to forget the spelling of my name.

It’s also so like him to remind me to eat breakfast. Which I don’t. Wala nga akong oras.

It’s also so like him to give me what I want.

We were able to talk after so long. I didn’t want to talk to him. I dreaded receiving any e-mail from him. I dreaded seeing him online. I dreaded what bad news he’ll be bringing. I just feel bad every time I talk to him, so bad that I almost always cry after we talk. But that conversation was different. He brought great news. News that made me feel lighter than I’d ever been in a really long while.

My class starts at 11:30am on Fridays, and I woke up at around 9am that Friday to a lot of messages and missed calls. My Dad’s messages ranged from cheerfulness to concern to worry. My aunt even texted me asking if I was okay. I guessed that my Dad must’ve called her and asked her about me or something. He confirmed that he did.

I really dreaded receiving any message from him, but somehow that time was different. Or maybe that was because I just woke up and the over-analytical part of me hasn’t been started up just yet. I got up with a smile, partly from his “Buti pa yung mga kaibigan mo natetext mo at nai-e-mail” and partly from his obvious concern.

I went online, finally added him in the ym account that I’m using for my academic and org things (hence I’ll always be using it), and waited for him to go online. A few moments later, he did.

He was worried. He said he had been calling our phone and my phone, but no one’s answering. Gee, I wonder why I didn’t wake up from those calls? He told me what he always tell me when we talk: mag-message naman ako minsan, ipaalam ko naman sa kanya ang nangyayari sa akin, et cetera. And I reply what I always reply to him: I have nothing to say.


I just checked my other e-mail and he also had a message there: “magmessage ka naman para panatag ang loob ko dito.”

I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna cry.


I realize that the last message I left him was on Father’s Day. We didn’t even talk. I just logged in, left a message, logged out. I really didn’t want to talk to him. I had a lot going on and I didn’t want to feel depressed. Or I guess I just didn’t want to deal with it, not when I’m halfway across the world.

We talked about his great news. Then about my plans for coming back there. He said if ever I’ll be coming there in December, I’ll have to board three planes because there’s no direct flight from Manila to the State they’ll be moving to. I said, it’s okay if I don’t go home this December. Gahd, goodness knows I didn’t want to deal with connecting flights just yet.

Then he said, “parang tumaba ka.” as comment to my display photo.

I literally threw up my hands and shouted WHAT?! Of course he didn’t see or hear that, so I just typed “what!”

  • maye (7/23/2010 10:07:22 AM): eh 95 pounds na nga lang ako
  • Daddy (7/23/2010 10:07:46 AM): kaya nga …nakain ka pa ba?
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:07:50 AM): hindi na
  • Daddy (7/23/2010 10:08:06 AM): kaya pala puro buto ka na eh

Gee, thanks, Dad.

  • maye (7/23/2010 10:15:43 AM): ang mahal ng tuition ko. 21 units kasi nga tinatapos ko in 7 sems ang dapat eh 8 sems
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:16:01 AM): and maintaining CS standing
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:16:10 AM): ano bang premyo ko pag gumraduate ako ng cum laude?
  • Daddy (7/23/2010 10:16:26 AM): SABI KO SUMMA
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:16:31 AM): ano?!
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:16:39 AM): sabi niyo kaya pag MAGNA, may car
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:16:45 AM): eh paano pag cum laude lang?
  • Daddy (7/23/2010 10:17:06 AM): car pa rin na laruan
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:17:11 AM): anubayun
  • Daddy (7/23/2010 10:17:16 AM): punta ka sa hongkong
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:17:20 AM): anubayun
  • maye (7/23/2010 10:17:27 AM): eh nakapunta na nga ako sa us, tapos hongkong?

That started it.

maye (7/23/2010 10:19:26 AM): pwede na humingi ng phone?


I said I’ll look for a model that I want and I’ll tell him about it next time. It would’ve been okay at that, and I was already doing my little victory dance, when he asked if I still need the Sony videocam. I said, nah, I don’t need it anymore since I’m already done with the class I needed it for. And the thing that I’ve been suppressing for weeks now suddenly flooded my mind: DSLR!!!!

So I asked. And I said, kahit DSLR na lang, wag na yung phone because I still have my pathetic old phone, and I can always save up for a more decent one when I want to. Some part of me doesn’t want to because I’ve been traumatized by the ONE TIME BIG TIME loss of my everything: laptop, phone, debit card, IDs, my perfect wallet, cash—and I didn’t want to save up for something that might just be stolen again. Mas masakit pag pinag-ipunan tapos mawawala lang.

Rather than phone, DSLR na lang, dahil di hamak na mas mahal yun. And I said I’ll be taking a photojournalism class by next sem (should’ve been this sem, but I chose to take the critical theory class instead). So see, it’s purely academic. XP

So he asked what model I want and I… er. I don’t know. I have lots of friends who know digital SLRs, so I’m confident that I can get their opinion. I’m sure many of them will be happy to accompany me buy it.

Anyway, we struck up a bargain: I’ll need to produce good grades in order to get the DSLR. So that means that I’ll be getting the DSLR by November, after the grades are in. Fair enough. But I have a feeling that I can have it earlier. Haha.

In the meantime, I’ll be looking for a model I want, and I’ll be thinking if I’d want the DSLR to be bought there and sent through courier here (which I’m pretty apprehensive about), or if I’d just buy it here. My friends told me it’s better to buy it there. Hmm. My Dad hasn’t failed me when it comes to these things. I asked him to buy me a Nokia 6130 as a graduation gift back in high school, and he suddenly called me from Dubai to ask if I want a Nokia N70. Which eventually became my grad gift.

So by the time we finished bargaining, it’s late. But, the spoiled brat that I am, I was able to bring up my allowance. I said, it’s been a year since my allowance was increased. We weren’t able to discuss it since I had to log off to prepare for school.

And I check my ym account and there it was. “humingi ka ng dagdag allowance.” I love getting what I want. He didn’t specify how much, though. I guess that’ll be up to me. Hahaha. Yey.

I’m so glad.

I said i love you. It’s been a while since I said that with a light heart.

Things are falling into place.